Anne Lee spent hours making a list of necessities. This is an exercise every day in a desperate attempt to feed a family of 7.

"Chicken noodle soup?" Anne sat at the kitchen table with a pen and notebook, wondering. "No, I'm going to make chicken and biscuits. That's more full."

These days, Anne spends only $ 175 per month on food, in addition to eggs, milk and meat that the family farm can support itself. Therefore, the list of necessities seemed to be an indispensable ritual for her.

Anne remembers every discounted item at the convenience store. Mashed tomatoes: one USD, potatoes for grilled pork dish: 1.69 USD / bag.

"I wish I could make lasagna, but it's too expensive," she shared. $ 2.5 can buy just over two ounces of cheese. Fresh vegetables are also expensive, except onions and potatoes. Even fruits are Anne question mark in the list.

When Anne and her husband, Andy, took over the family's dairy farm in 2013, the business was quite favorable. But years of falling milk prices combined with President Trump's trade war have left the couple in debt for up to $ 200,000.

Like the Anne - Andy family, many farmers across the United States are also struggling to pay for basic things like groceries and electricity. The rate of farmers going bankrupt went up and farmers' debts hit a record high.

"We were supposed to provide food to the world but now we can't even prepare our own meals on the table of our family," said Anne.

The amount of money spent on Anne's supplies decreased month by month, until one day in October, when there was almost no food left in the house. Anne began looking for other options she had never thought of before, like receiving pension vouchers.

"It turned out that feeling of deprivation was like that," she told her husband.

While Anne made the list, her three daughters, aged 9 to 13, wandered around while having lunch together. There is still turkey left over from the Thanksgiving dinner brought by Anne's sisters.

"Mom, I need cauliflower and pepper for my soup," said Paige, the oldest girl, 13 years old. Paige sometimes helps her mother prepare dinner for the family. "That's a big wish, darling. Let's see if we can make it happen."

Occasionally, Anne looked at the list of goods and then frowned.

"That's my second sandwich," she asked Brooke, age 9. Anne thought of the last remaining loaf of bread in the house and her husband and 15-year-old son, Jason, who was working off the farm about to return and needed something to put in his stomach for lunch.

The decline in the dairy industry, due to global overproduction and a decline in US dairy consumption, has hit rural New York as the state has lost 1,100 dairy farms since 2012. Last year, Mexican and Chinese retaliatory tariffs on dairy products in response to Trump's tariffs on imported steel, cost New York dairy farmers an additional $ 125 million in losses.

According to Anne, nearly 10 farms around Lee's house were closed and those in operation were struggling. However, farmers rarely talk about their predicament.

Anne's farm currently retains only 65 of the best dairy cows. This is the main livelihood of the family. She stopped answering landlines because they were mostly phone calls. The power company is threatening to stop supplying them.

The drop in milk prices made Lee's family living standards change accordingly. At first, they gave up pizza and delivered it to their homes, followed by regular grocery shopping. Now, they accept apples and blueberries hired at farms near their homes in the summer to earn extra.

Andy, 39, remembered the Little Debbie cakes that Anne often added for lunch for him. Breanna and Brooke miss the salad. Jason, the ninth-grader, has hunted an additional two deer as a food reserve in the winter. Anne noticed that Paige only ate half as much before, but she didn't ask her daughter, considering it a private matter.

The Lee family received $ 4,100 in federal aid this year, as part of the Trump administration's $ 28 billion bailout for families damaged by the trade war. The Lee family is grateful for what they have received, but it is still not enough when the income from the sale of milk drops by $ 4,000 a month, Anne said.

Where Anne lives, most voters voted for Trump in the 2016 election. The Lee family is one of them.

"We've been facing unfair trade for years. Someone has to fix that and President Trump is doing it," said Anne.

"I know a lot of people don't like it, but it has to happen to make American goods more competitive," Andy said. "We will be hurt for a while".

Anne overcomes this by taking on a part-time job, from filling out agricultural surveys, assistant teachers to assistant store managers. Andy finds it hard to accept this.

"I should be the main breadwinner of the family," he said. "Right now, I can't fulfill that responsibility, my wife has to do it for me. I mean I'm not good enough."

Anne stopped in front of the Thomas P. Hoke Welfare Service Center. She passed a bearded man, walking with a cane, to enter the building. Anne came here to apply for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), formerly known as the food stamp program. The waiting room is full of children, the crying of children makes the space become noisy.

"Put healthy food on the table," wrote a poster on the wall. "Don't cheat on medical benefits," another poster printed appealed.

"What do you want to do today?" Asked the receptionist named Courtney.

"I don't know. I've never been here. I want to sign up for SNAP," said Anne. "Do I have to file federal or state taxes?"

"You're right," Courtney replied.

Anne scanned her pay stubs from various part-time jobs. Last year, she earned 5,330 USD thanks to them. Besides, the column for recording the farm's net income is now -12,979 USD.

"What can I do to find out if I am approved?" Anne asked.

You will have information within 24 to 48 hours, Courtney said.

Anne worried about whether she would be approved. About 197,000 farmers, fishermen and forestry workers are using SNAP, but some farmers say they sometimes have difficulty with complicated conditions and rules set by the government. The Trump administration is planning a long-term plan to tighten SNAP.

Anne hopes to receive SNAP before Christmas, so she will save some money to buy gifts for the children. But maybe that did not happen.

"Too bad," said Anne. She left the center after about 20 minutes, regretting having paid a dollar for two hours of parking on the street.

"Before, everything was very private," she said as she stepped into the car. "Now I feel that everyone can see my whole life."

Small stalls outside a church in Richford, New York, distribute free food starting at 6:30 every day. Anne arrived around 10 o'clock, carrying large bags and immersed herself in the long line of people waiting.

"I am not prepared for this." she shared. The night before, Anne wrote in her diary, saying in the diary, "Tomorrow, we will go to the free food delivery place. Andy is not aware. I am afraid he will be sad if he knows. I am very nervous. I don't want people to judge me, I don't want to be recognized, I don't want kids to know and be pointed out at school, but my mom always says they're there to help the needy. when needed and helping them back when they're full. "

Finally, the food truck arrived. Volunteers in turn distributed milk, eggs, apple juice, frozen vegetables, tomato soup, green beans, corn tortillas, canned pears, potatoes and rice. Anne received two bags of apples and 6 bags of grapes. After so many days, she finally had fruit for her family.

Anne could cross out a lot of items on her grocery list. She spent all 62 USD in the budget of 175 USD. Now Anne can maintain the electricity in the house by paying part of the $ 459 electricity bill.

Not long after, Andy came home and saw the number of things Anne had just taken. At first, he was surprised but immediately realized where his wife got them from.

"I guess we end up still having to do what we need to do," Andy told Anne and left.

Contrary to Andy, the children appeared eager and happy.

"Mom, where did you get these grapes," Brooke asked.

"They gave it to their mothers, who were free," said Anne.

"Tell them I love them!" Levi said aloud.

Evening is the time the Lee family gathered together after a long day. Anne browsed Facebook and saw a positive post.

"Andy, listen," she called to her husband.

Anne and Brooke read aloud the article quoted by economists at the University of Wisconsin predicting that milk prices will rise and "the future of dairy farmers will be brighter".

The first-stage trade deal with China could help them breathe some relief.

"So things will be better for us in 2020?", Breanna asked.

"Good things will come, in both 2020, 2021 and 2022," Anne answered.

"Be positive," Andy encouraged his family members.

"We're still together and we still have a home to live in," Anne said.

"You mean the price of milk, will it go up?", Breanna asked.

"I guess so, that's what they said," said Anne.